((it's all about me))

I seriously can't wait for our baby to get here. We can't wait to meet her for so many reasons! One of my reasons, appropriately at the bottom of the list, is that she can take the spotlight off of me. Now, I'm not saying that every single tiny thing in my life revolves around me but I am saying that being pregnant increases the attention surrounding my life and the questions... oh the questions... from people who love me and want to check on me. It's sweet really. Here's the thing though, I'm not one of those people who likes to be the center of attention.  Obviously there are certain people in this world who I talk to about pregnancy all. the. time. - my husband, my mom and my sister. They're probably up to their ears with my pregnancy talk and my belly pictures. See I totally think that life is meant to be shared, I just think I prefer to quietly share it with certain people. Blame my introverted self.

So all that to say, I can't wait until she's here and no one even looks at me they just go straight for the baby! All the questions will be about her and all the hands that want to touch my belly will just want to touch her. Cannot. Wait.

So when she gets here I am making a big transition to staying home with her sweet self. It's a blessing that I am so thankful for and I couldn't be more excited about it. With that in mind, my husband asked me this weekend what I want to do once I stay home. I know that may sound like a strange question with an obvious answer.... catering to our tiny human's every need, right? But that's why I love him and I love us because while that is true, both of us have expressed that we don't want to lose our identity in our baby. We see this happen over and over to friends and family and it seems sad that there is no person outside of "mom" or "dad". Now I know if you have kids you think I'm being naive, but we genuinely realize how much time and effort and energy will be focused on our daughter and we're committed to keeping some of that time, effort and energy for each other and ourselves. Again, I know you're probably thinking, let me know how that works for you two, but we're serious. Obviously newborns demand attention 24/7 and we understand that, we also understand that it's a phase that evolves constantly.

SO, in answer to the question what am I going to do? I have come up with a list. Not about what I'm going to do after the baby, just what I am going to do. From the most ridiculous things to the most basic. Here it is:

I will make time for my marriage. Even if it's just one evening every other week. I will make time for baby-less, baby-free communication and quality time. After all, this is the person that I love more than anyone on the planet and making a baby together is an amazing thing that has and will grow that love even more. I know that the love you have for a child is unlike any other, but I promise to always put my marriage first. For my husband and for my children.

I will make time for my family. My family is hardcore ride-or-die. We're forever. I want to handle this big change in a way that makes time for real conversations with them. Seriously, my family can annoy me and they can sustain me but either way I am in.

I will make time for my friends. You ever had friends who had babies or got married and just disappeared? Me too. Not doing that. Yes, it will look different but I've worked too hard to make relationships here and they're too important to me.

I will make time to serve. In whatever way, however often, whatever it looks like. I want to keep it on my radar that love doesn't talk, love does. 

Fitness. Boom. I've always wanted to be that girl that's in super great shape and can run in a bikini and stuff bounces but nothing jiggles. Y'all know. I've flirted with this before but I've never done it. I'm doing it.

I will pick a day every week where I say yes. Why not? I will be one big head shaking happy yes-er. I think if you stop with new opportunities you just stop. I don't want to stagnate.

I will get better at saying no. Because I'm horrible at it and it's a lesson I want to learn better before it becomes a personal battle. I like to please people and so saying no isn't always natural but it is healthy. Oh and it's crucial to the next one....

I will pick a day every week where I say no or quit. Why? Because it's just as important to say no as it is to say yes. Even to good things. Balance.

I will be a better manager of my home. Sometimes I read these blogs of women who are staying home with their kids and they have it down to a science. Budget, meals, coupons, cleaning, clothes, decor, they do it all. Plain and simple it makes me super sick. I'm going to set realistic expectations but I truly for the first time will have the opportunity to dive deeper into some of these things and make our house run smoothly. It makes me happy.

I will have an open door policy. We want to entertain more, the door is always open now but we don't always plan ahead enough to round up our people. We love having people over and just being with people in general. Now, I realize that maybe we shouldn't have moved to the dark side of the moon if this was our goal but we love it here and we think other people love to get away here sometimes too. Fires, volleyball, music, hammocks, the whole nine. So hey, come over.

I will keep having adventures. Kayaking. Camping. Hiking. Fishing. Hunting with husband (I tried this year I really did but the sleepiness of pregnancy kept me in the bed when the alarm went off circa 4am). Traveling. I think that sometimes people look at having kids like they do pregnancy... an anchor. We look at both things differently... both blessings and both able to be mobile and active.

I will keep loving my dog. What? I told you there would be ridiculous things on this list! Obviously he's not on the same level of importance as humans, but he's so close it's ridiculous. And he's super cool so I want to make sure he's still included. Yep, ridiculous.

This is it. It may not be complete but that's where I'm at now. So when it's not all about me in a few weeks (yay!), I want to know what it is that me wants to do. I don't want to float through life - live with passion!