((learning the ropes))

I've considered myself to be a pretty chill pregnant lady. My husband has backed me up on this several times by saying I haven't been "that bad" when it comes to being emotional or just downright crazy. I've truly enjoyed every minute of being pregnant and it has been super easy for me which I know is a true gift. I am more of a take-it-as-it-comes kind of person and have just listened to my doctor and my instincts - no books, no google.

Having said that, I'm HUGE about being prepared. I don't like to not know what I need for certain situations such as.... well... birth. At our doctor's suggestion we decided to take a childbirth class so I made my way to our hospital's website, signed us up and paid the fee....... wait what?..... yes, paid the fee. The thing no one wants to tell you about classes is that the hospital doesn't just offer them out of the goodness of their heart! Maybe we're the cheapest people on earth but it took us a good thirty minutes to decide if we really wanted to hand over some cash to make ourselves baby birthing pros.  Obviously you should rush out right now and nominate us for parents of the year.  

So the class was this weekend and let me just say, the cookies were fabulous so it's money well spent in my book! Oh and the information was pretty great too. Seriously, side note, on the long shot that anyone is even reading this let alone pregnant and considering a birth class.....spend that money! You'll thank me.

Like I said, I haven't turned into mom-zilla and read anything or fussed too much about details of pregnancy or even newborn care. Maybe it's my ag background coming out but I've seen lots of animals have their first baby and trust me, they always figure it out. (Yes, you can make the argument that I just compared myself to an animal, no, you cannot do the same - especially if it involves the word "cow".) I thought going into the class that maybe I would be the least educated mom-to-be or the person who is saying "what are we even talking about?" but surprisingly, I realized about half way through the first day that I was somehow ahead of the game. Not sure how this even happened, maybe my husband has been reading What To Expect When You're Expecting to me in my coma-like sleep?? I think it's just that I have absorbed information from my expecting friends, the brochures in my doctors office while I patiently wait, or the app that tells me what vegetable my baby is the size of today.

While I was sitting in class patting myself on the back for knowing about SIDs, birth plans, perineal massage (hey pregnant girl who might be but probably isn't reading, ask your doctor and then proceed to freak out), not microwaving milk, the safe kind of pacifiers, the best kind of diaper cream.... something in my mind started to laugh at the clueless wonders other moms in my class. I'm pretty sure that at one point I poked my husband and said, "seriously?" and you probably would have too if you had been there.

Ready for the ugly part? I was shaming them in my mind for not knowing. Now, I do think it's a little ridiculous to be more into buying baby clothes than learning something about the person who is going to wear them. It kind of is equal in my mind to the people who spend months planning the perfect wedding and don't spend any time preparing for the marriage.

But still, the big question remains - why do we, especially Christians, choose to shame another mother who doesn't follow the same nap schedule that you do, another woman who dresses more revealing than you think is okay, another family torn apart by divorce, another human being who is no less perfect than we are? When did it become about tearing each other apart? When did it become about passing judgment? When did we decide our way is the only way? When did we decide that we are better?

I'm a competitive person. I was raised in a competitive family, seriously don't play scrabble, mexican train, touch football, go fish or anything where someone can win with anyone from my family. It never ends pretty - exhibit A, offering to fist fight my sister "for real" after loosing in Wii boxing. In my life years ago, through some shaming from others, I learned that God doesn't want me to be a judge. He wants me to love. Such a foreign idea but one that we discuss often in our marriage, and hope to practice always. Obviously I'm not perfect at it, I'm still jumping to conclusions about the mother in childbirth class but it's something I want to always teach my children. I think if Jesus showed up suddenly at church or small group He wouldn't be concerned with one girl's short shorts or one man's drug addiction or one marriage's failures. I think he would do exactly what he did when he showed up 2,000+ years ago - He would love.

So to the mom in class, you're going to be great. We have said this whole pregnancy that we want to raise our child in a way that works for us, no one else. So if you see me one day and my daughter is napping at the "wrong" time or you never took your adorable bumper off your crib, I want you to know - no judgment here girl. You do you.